Chapter Fourteen: Homestudy...Check! The Next Step Is...

It is done!!!!!

We had our homestudy visit this past Thursday. We are so glad to be done with that. It was quite stressful leading up to it, but then before we knew it...it was over!

After Pabbi came home from his internship this summer we wanted to do a huge 'Fall Cleaning' before he went back to school. So we started uprooting every room in our place, cleaning it thoroughly and putting things back. Of course, it didn't get done before school started again; as did his new internship. I tried to do things as best as I could, but did not get too much done. So our apartment looked in total disarray creating a bit of panic to settle in. Lucky for us, a dear friend came to help clean the day before the homestudy; but even after she left we still had the dreaded room: office/storage room upstairs - the room that would become ours, so Sufi could have our room. Thursday morning, I woke up so so sick! I had had a cold the week before that I thought I kicked (and had passed onto Pabbi) but Thursday morning I woke so ill! Sneezing, coughing, body aches, headache, and fever. I persevered and with Pabbi's help we cleaned that office so it at least could show that it had potential to be a bedroom.

By the time the Social Worker came, I was exhausted, yet strangely calm! She came in and we talked for almost two hours. We laughed, joked, informed, and discussed all that needed to be talked over. She was an incredible woman. In fact, she has 12 children herself, from all over the world. She really knew what she was doing. Before she left, she said she just needed to see our kitchen, and that she would not need to go upstairs through the rest of the rooms (we were dumbfounded and somewhat disappointed). We know she could tell the size of the upstairs by the downstairs layout (our apartment is not that complex). Later Pabbi told me he wanted to herd her upstairs to show off our hard work!

All in all everything seemed to go real well. She said that all she needed was to await a final confirmation from Iceland on his background check and then she could write up the final report. We kind of got the feeling we would be approved, but we will keep praying that this feeling is indeed accurate.

THE NEXT STEP

We were told to start focusing on the I-600a and the Dossier for Ghana. So that is what we are doing. But once we get our homestudy report things are going to be going fast. So not only do we need to get this paperwork done, but our attention now needs to focus on doing some serious FUNDRAISING. If things go well, and as fast as Jessica's pace went, we have about a month and a half to two months tops to raise all the money we need. We have about $3,050 and need to raise another $7,000 so that all this can really actually happen!!!!!

It brings tears to my eyes and my heart swells thinking that in just 3 months I will FINALLY be a mother, that Pabbi will FINALLY be a father.

We Love you Sufi!

Chapter Thirteen: Homestudy Panic

This post is merely a way to document my fear (with a hope that in reality I can look back and laugh at being so afraid). But I am terrified! Our homestudy is on Thursday and I am terrified we will be rejected/not approved to adopt! Plus, there is still so much to do before we have this appointment and the hours are ticking away faster than we can move.

I think our greatest fear is that we are still poor students. Yes, we know here in Happy Valley, that most parents are poor and that they have two or three children on a budget that only one person should be able to survive on. But the reality is that the Government requires much more before giving permission to become an adoptive parent. I think it is sad because we do well, and don't need much, but we fear our documents may say otherwise. So our fear stands and will probably stand until both our homestudy and the USCIS (INS) clears us. It is interesting we haven't yet feared our ability to fundraise what we need for the 'process' itself; we have full confidence in God that we will be able to. But we lack that faith when it comes to proving we have enough to care in the long run. We do have to do our part. At this point it is all on pure faith!

We are not too concerned about our Social Worker coming to talk to us. We are actually excited to meet her, and ask our billion questions.
We are concerned, because she will come into our apartment and well, we had started an in-depth 'Fall Clean" before school started for Pabbi, and well, did not quite make the deadline of getting finished before he started. So I have been trying to patch up and put things back together before Thursday! Yikes! Will she come and think we are filthy or that we are too clean?

I know, I know we just need to

It is just soooo hard, when something so important is riding on us and our fear of failing will rip the one most beautiful thing going in our life right now.

Please pray for us, and that all will go right; that we will be approved in our homestudy and that the USCIS will also say we are good enough!

Chapter Twelve: Gifts for Samuel

Because L.M. is going to Ghana, we couldn't resist sending some things for Sufi. We wish it were us being sent to go be with him; but we will settle sending these few things.

This first idea was taken from another adoptive parent, who created and sent a book to their little girl.

A few sample pages:

He will have a home...
He will have a mamma and a Pabbi
That Love him.

He will have a Grandma Kay and a Grandpa Lynn
who love him very much.
He will have an Afi and an Amma in Iceland
that love him very much. We will be a happy family.
This is a dog and a baby cougar (BYU).

An adoptive mother gave us a great idea to get stuffed animals and sleep with them in our bed for a week or so, to pick up 'our scent' and then when Sufi plays with these, he can become familiar with how we smell. We had alot of fun sleeping with these two in our bed.

This is an outfit we hope that will fit.
We chose colors that we hoped would not look to dirty
after wearing and washing.Notice, the shorts are the same?
We only sent one pair of shorts and three shirts.
We do hope that the clothes fit, and when we pick Sufi up,
we will leave these outfits behind to be used by any other children who can fit into them.

We also sent a book. Isn't it so cute.
We hope L.M. and other children will be able to read this to Sufi.
We also sent a Poof ball for Sufi to play with.
We hope Sufi will love these and that he will enjoy sharing them with the other little children.

We can't wait for him to come home!

We Love You Sufi!

Chapter Eleven: Another Miracle

Friday we talked with L.M., who tells us she was talking with the orphanage director, who told her that he felt strongly impressed we needed to pick up the pace in our adoption process. I too, had been feeling this way, but discounted it, thinking that I was just being overly-anxious to bring Sufi home. We have been trying to pace ourselves in this process, because we are still students, and have so much already going on. But this was like a fire being lit under us. We decided to call the director ourselves to talk with him about what he would like us to do; plus we had questions of our own about our little boy.

 So we make the call. Our questions about Sufi could not be answered because the director was not near the files on the children (he does deal with over 300 children). So we asked what it was he would like us to do to pick up the pace. He of course said to get our homestudy completed. Then he did say, if we sent part of our fees, he could get a jump start on tracking down the birth certificates and all the documents needed for his side of the work. He wasn't sure what the costs might be, but said to call back and he could give more specific details.

The next morning we call, our hearts anxious. We had been discussing how it was we would be able to come up with the fees right away. We also were anxious to find out more information about Sufi. The first part of our conversation, we discussed where Sufi had been born. What he did know was that Sufi had been born in the Central Region of Ghana. He gave some specific names we couldn't quite catch (we will be reciveing this information written down for out benefit). We found out that Sufi speaks a language similar to Fante (we think he said it was Gomoa...our brains still can't wrap around all of it, especially by phone). This may not seem like alot of information, but every little ounce we recieve feels like such a blessing. More could not be said until the director is able to track down the documents.

Our conversation soon turned to fees. Due to happenings in the adoption realm of Ghana, it is now very important to hire an attorney in addition to a social worker over in Ghana. Certain countries were becoming unhappy with Ghana for not demanding interim adoptions, as the law states a judge might require. Judges in Accra are now expected to be making most adoptions interim adoptions (meaning we would have to return in two years before the adoption was final). This has scared many prospective adoptive families.

So to be on the safe side of things, the director and L.M. decided we better have an attorney helping, and that we should start going to the judge in the Central Region (where the orphanage is located) instead of going into Accra. This caused some of the fees to increase (though I was surprised at how little it was...but it was still a moderate increase). We don't mind, it was jsut an unexpected amount to have so suddenly and on such short notice.

Side note: L.M. decided to go to Ghana. She is leaving on the 9th of September. We will be sending our fees with her.

We figured we would find a way to come up with the money. We hoped and prayed the Lord knew what was needed. We had raised some money, but we also have the homestudy, and documents required on the 11th. We decided to take out a short term small loan and hope we could pay it off later when we had done some serious fundraising.

After our phone call, we headed out to run some errands, and dropped by our mailbox. In the mailbox, was a letter from a dear dear friend. In this letter was a check with a large donation. I was shocked and so grateful. This friend, has a large family of her own, and I was surprised they could make such a wonderful and blessed sacrifice to help us out. This donation definately will help keep us from having to borrow so much money at one shot.

We want to give public thanks to her, her husband, and family; they had mentioned they wished to be anonymous - in fact, she did not even want to let us know they had donated the money, but did not know a 'safe' way to ensure we recieved the money (we now have Paypal up and running to aid those who wish to stay anonymous).

So Thank You so much for being a miracle in the Lord's hand!!!!
We are so grateful to you and your generosity. We feel so blessed and so grateful, words can not express how we feel.

Chapter Ten: L.M. is going to Ghana

I am so excited:
L.M. is going to Ghana.

While she is there, L.M. is going to take our dear baby Sufi, strap him on her back (as the Ghanaian women do) and go around doing all that she needs to do.

She is going to find out what the orphanage needs, and how we can all help to improve the conditions for the children!!!!

She is also going to meet the team (Orphanage Director, the Social Worker,and now a Lawyer) who helps families adopt. Due to some changes in adoption proceedures on that end, interim adoptions seem to be more likely in the future. This means that we will need to use a lawyer after all to ensure we can get final adoptions there.

Also, it has been decided to take our adoption cases before the judge in the Central Region (where the orphanage is), instead of into Accra.

L.M. has felt that to better help us families to adopt, and to know what the school/orphanage needs, she should go and see for herself. It has been ten years since she has been in Ghana; although she has often wanted to go, the time didn't seem right. Now is the right time!!!

I am just mostly glad that she is going to be with our boy; she is a relative after all!!! We just found out that she and Fridrik are related. We felt from first meeting L.M. she was family. Now we know she is, albeit somewhat distant.
It brings tears to my eyes, knowing that "family" will be over there with our baby boy, taking care of him, playing with him, loving him, kissing him, and hugging him.

We send our love baby boy:
We love you with all our hearts!!

Chapter Nine: A PLEA FOR HELP.

Help us bring Sufi Home!

Dear Everyone,

We are writing to ask for your help. To make a long story short, we are adopting a little boy from Ghana. His name is Sufi and he is about 8 months old. He is currently living at an orphanage near Accra, the capitol of Ghana. We are currently working with the owner of the orphanage, who is taking care of the adoption process on that end. Because this is a private adoption the majority of the money for the adoption process will do direclty towards the orphanage and its 300 occupants.

For more information on the orphsnage, please visit ??? .
Also for the whole story of Sufi & more information, visit http://www.thebookofsamuel.blogspot.com/ .
We would also be happy to explain this spirit led journey we have been called to embark upon. Please email us at lovingacrossborders@gmail.com with questions and/or concerns.

Your help would be greatly appreciated. No, we do not excpect you to baby sit, change dirty diapers, or take Sufi to the doctors. But a donation through our blog or by mailing us a check would be a great blessing. Fundraising help would also be greatly appreciated. PLEASE pass this on to anyone who might be interested and feel free to call or write us any time.

So far, this amazing journey has been led by the hand of the Lord. It will be exciting to keep you informed of the progress and miracles that will unfold as we proceed. Thank you so much for your support and prayers!

Yours truly,
Mamma and Pabbi

Chapter Eight: Homestudy Appointment

We finally have a homestudy appointment set up for September 11th.
I can hardly believe it: and I am scared.

We orginally going to go through another agency and social worker; but things did not work out with her. The final straw was when she said she would not approve us for more than one child and absolutely would not for a non-related child. We had hoped to keep our options open to adopt more than one, and since Sufi is an only child that meant we would have to adopt a non-related child. I have to admit though, that everytime Pabbi would talk with this particular person, I would get sick to my stomach and just felt very uncomfortable.

So we counseled with L.M. and she recommended a social worker who worked with them 10 years ago, and also worked with Shelley. We decided to give her a try. We called this woman and immediately felt she was the one we should work with. although, she did say she would caution against adopting more than one, she would talk with us and check out our situation. That is all we ask, is a a bit of openess.

So she sent us the paperwork back in the end of July, & boy was I shocked: it was an eighth of the paperwork, & her cost was half the price. But this does not mean she is any less thorough (I have read reviews, & talked with others about it). She is very effecient & prompt. We sent in most of our paperwork & documents, the only thing we have to wait on is our final check in Iceland. I was amazed that she even recieved background checks on me from RUSSIA so quickly!!!

I think L.M. is right, that you really have to shop around for a social worker, because not everyone is going to click with the same person. These social workers are here to help and they are going through our lives with a fine tooth comb. It isn't easy to let a stranger into your home to inverstigate you, and so you have to find someone you are comfortable with. I think we found that in this woman!

I do worry that we won't be "good enough" to adopt, or that as 'poor students' we won't qualify. I often ponder why it is at this time the Lord has directed us to adopt; why not wait another year when we might be more settled (well, Pabbi will have graduated) and stable. But I won't question, and we WILL act, but it is taking alot of faith to hold on and hope we are going to be approved to bring our son home to us. So I worry and then pray I have enough faith.

After our homestudy, we wait to be approved and then we take on the next big task of battling with the USCIS (used to be called INS).

So until then we are...to become parents.

***Insert ***: I Saw What I Saw...

This is a beautiful video, that L.M. shared with us, and I had to post it here as well.

Chapter Seven: Miracles

It seems every time we turn around another miracle has happened in this process of adopting Sufi.

The first post discussed several of them.
But one I had not written down, I would like to share.
(This story is related as it was told to me secondhand, and as I can remember the details.
So not all details are 100% accurate. But the fact of the timing is.)

One women (Shelley), who just went to Ghana and adopted two beautiful girls: Kekeli and Precious (ages 14 & 9), was key in a major miracle for us in finding Sufi.

In June, Shelley was supposed to fly out with her brother-in-law to Ghana, to adopt their girls from Hohoe Christian Orphans Home in the Volta Region. While she was going to be in Ghana, she planned to go to our orphanage for a day. The Director had been a key in helping her in her adoption process.

However, after the first leg of the trip, Shelley found herself at the New York airport. It was there that Shelley discovered that her visa for Ghana was not multi-entry as she had thought it was. This meant she could not continue on to Ghana. In tears and frustration, she had to say goodbye to her brother-in-law who went on without her to Ghana.

Frantic, Shelley called L.M. who helped her decide what to do next. She wasn't sure if she should return to Utah, to try and fix things, or if she was suppossed to do something else. Shelley was advised to go the the Embassy there in NY and see if they could work her visa issue out.

So she went, and they did. It all worked out for her to continue on to Ghana, just a day behind schedule. It was this day delay that allowed us to get our first glimpse of our son.

See, if Shelley had gone on the day she had originally planned (the day before this photo was taken), there would be no photos of Sufi. He had arrived just that morning of the day this photo was taken. That is why even the director did not know who this baby was, at first, or what the situation was. I consider this an incredible miracle.

Her delay and sorrow turned into our joy and blessing!

Shelley at the orphanage.

Thank you Shelley!
Thanks for the sacrifice you made and the photos you sent.

We thank God, for creating such miracles to bring families together. I am still amazed at how so many blessings come in such unexpected ways. We just know that there will be many more to bring our family together.

Chapter Six: The Diagnosis

The diagnosis for Sufi's illness is Malaria.
We kind of expected that diagnosis, but now that we know for certainty it makes it even harder not to be with him.

I know malaria is pretty serious, but I have to admit, I did not know that much about the disease, nor what effects it has. So I did some research. I was a bit shocked to know how bad it was, and to know that there really is not an immunization for this disease. I also was shocked at how prevalent this disease is, even in our current times.
I stand educated!

Malaria

is a serious, infectious disease spread by certain mosquitoes. It is most common in tropical climates. It is characterized by recurrent symptoms of chills,fever, and an enlarged spleen. The disease can be treated with medication, but it often recurs. Malaria is endemic (occurs frequently in a particular locality) in many third world countries. Isolated, small outbreaks sometimes occur within the boundaries of the United States.

Causes

Malaria is caused by a parasite that is transmitted from one human to another by the bite of infected Anopheles mosquitoes. In humans, the parasites (called sporozoites) migrate to the liver where they mature and release another form, the merozoites. These enter the bloodstream and infect the red blood cells.after red blood cells rupture.

Malaria Life Cycle

The parasites multiply inside the red blood cells, which then rupture within 48 to 72 hours, infecting more red blood cells. The first symptoms usually occur 10 days to 4 weeks after infection, though they can appear as early as 8 days or as long as a year later. Then the symptoms occur in cycles of 48 to 72 hours.

The majority of symptoms are caused by the massive release of merozoites into the bloodstream, the anemia resulting from the destruction of the red blood cells, & the problems caused by large amounts of free hemoglobin released into the circulation

Malaria can be cured with prescription drugs.
The type of drugs and length of treatment depend on the type of malaria, where the person was infected, their age, whether they are pregnant, and how sick they are at the start of treatment.
World ViewMalaria is not a serious problem in the United States.The picture is far more bleak outside the territorial boundaries of the United States. Malaria infects between 300 and 500 million people every year in Africa, India, southeast Asia, the Middle East, Oceania, and Central and South America. About 2 million of the infected die each year. Most of the cases and almost all of the deaths occur in sub-Saharan Africa. At the present time, malaria kills about twice as many people as does AIDS. As many as half a billion people worldwide are left with chronic anemia due to malaria infection. In some parts of Africa, people battle up to 40 or more separate episodes of malaria in their lifetimes. The spread of malaria is becoming even more serious as the parasites that cause malaria develop resistance to the drugs used to treat the condition.

http://www.malariahotspots.co.uk/files/images/MH_L1_facts_map.gif

According to the World Health Organization, each year nearly 500 million people become infected with malaria, and nearly three million, mostly children, die from it. Areas around the world facing the greatest risk, shown reddish brown, harbor some of the world's most impoverished people.

Sites to check out and learn more:

Malaria article -Health Line,

Healthline,

Malaria FACTS,

Frequently Asked Questions about Malaria,

Medline Plus info on Malaria,

Center for Disease Control and Prevention,

and more.

Now I know this sounds bleak, and horrible, but we are not despairing. He was given medication and is already doing so much better! Out of this we learned a little more about Sufi's personality. Apparently as sick as he was, he was quiet, amiable, did not complain at all, and not in the least bit colicky. They could hardly tell he was sick, except for the coughing and fever. The director said he is quite the hardy boy!

We are still praying for him, and hoping he will recover quickly and completely. We will continue to pray that he does not relapse, nor contract it again (anyone can get it over and over again).

Chapter Five: In Hospital

Thursday, we recieved a message from teh orphanage director,

that we should call him. So we called him.

The director let us know that little Sufi is in the hospital with a cough and fever.

He is not sure what he has, but he wanted to let us know as soon as possible. He said he would be visiting Sufi, Friday evening or Saturday at the hospital.

He then was going to get ahold of us in the next few days to let us know what Sufi had, and what needs to be done.

It was amazing how our parental instincts kicked in. We wished we could be near him, and hold him until he was better. We both are hoping it is nothing too serious, and merely a cold/flu that most children get. It is hard enough to not be there, but to know he is not up and about playing with the other children, is beyond words. We just know we are being challenged to have faith that the Lord is wathcing over our baby boy. We, just have to trust in that.

We are praying that he will soon be well and happy. We ask those of you watching this blog to please pray for Sufi, and that he will recover quickly.

Sufi, get better soon! We love you!

Chapter Four: What's in a name?

We have often heard the adage written by Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet :

"What's in a name?That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet."

Yet, many believe a name is highly important; and that if named something different, we would eminate different personalities and characteristics.

In the scriptures
we see the importance of a name.
Many prophets names were changed to represent important concepts, ideas, and teachings. Many reliogious people name their children after thse in the scriptures in hope that their children become good and righteous.

As a genealogist,
it is interesting to watch the name patterns,
because the names meant something important
and connects the past and the future for most families.

Some believe our names are the cornerstones of our personality
and that they tell alot about who we are and who we will become.
Social science research has found that the names we are given a birth carry substantial pyschological weight;
and that we define our very selves by these names.

Even different cultures and countries have patterns and traditios in naming their children.
Russians are usually named after saints.
Everyday of the year is named after a particular saint: if you are born that day, you usually inherit that name.
In Iceland they have a specific
national registrary of names that you can name your children. If a name does not show up, then you can't name your children.
This is to preserve the "Icelandic" names.
(Currently, Pabbi's name is not on the registrar,
so no one can be named that.)

In Ghana, they name children according to the day of the week,
and they are also given a English name.

(I took the following info from a fellow adoptive mom)

"The Ghanaian Day Name is the name assigned to the child born on a specific day of the week which also includes characteristics of the child born on the specific day of the week. This day name also, called the Kradin name, is carried on throughout the life of the child, and amazingly accurate as horoscopes in the western world."

Day of Birth

Name

FEMALE MALE

Monday

Adwoa, Adzo, Ajoba, Ejo (female)

Bobo, Jojo, Kobie, Kojo, Kwodwo (male)

Tuesday

Abena, Abla, Araba (female)

Ebo, Kobena, Kwabina (Male)

Wednesday

Aku, Akuba, Ekua, Ekuwa, Kuukuwa (female)

Kuuku, Kwaku, Kweku (male)

Thursday

Aba, Yaa, Yaaba, Yaayaa (female)

Ekow, Yao, Yaw, Yokow (male)

Friday

Afi, Afua, Efie, Efua (female)

Fifi, Kofi, Yoofi (male)

Saturday

Ama, Awo (female)

Ato, Atoapem, Kwame, Kwamena (male)

Sunday

Akosua, Esi, Kisi (female)

Akwasi, Kwesi, Siisi (male)

Day of Birth

Description

Monday

Calm, tranquil, and cool (like icewater), skillful and adept under pressing conditions

Tuesday

Warm, gentle, eloquent and compassionate

Wednesday

Mischievous, vicarious, vigilant and daring

Thursday

Eager for battle, a big rock in one's pocket, skillful in dealing with people

Friday

The wanderer, adventurous, wisdom and tenacity

Saturday

Possesses the medicine for snake bites, able to reverse crisis, thorough and painstakingly scrupulous, Saturday is also God's Day

Sunday

Tail of the Animal, protection from flies and danger, very protective of others and patient

(What day were you born on? Which Ghanaian name would you choose?)

I feel a person named particularly can live up to the meaning of their name;
or at the very least feel that it holds great importance and values that s/he may posses.
Our names do impact us.

We love the name *Sufi and truly think it is no coincedence that he is named as such.

God has heard our prayers and blessed us with him.

We do hope as we learn more about him, we will find out his Kradin name as well.

We love you Sufi!

*Name has been changed

Chapter Three:The Orphanage

Like I mentioned before, the first time I called L.M.,
she had just recieved pictures from Shelley.
L.M. immediately popped some of these off to me,
while I was talking to her.
The rest she gradually sent.

But it was these first few pictures
that I just had to know about
the baby boy (Sufi).
He looked so familiar to me.

The rest of the photos
touched a soft spot in my heart.
I just have to share
Look at the conditions they are in,

yet, I have heard this orphanage is
much better off than many others.

Look at all the kids faces...so adorable!

In this photo Sufi looked so sad... but when I cropped and enlarged it,
not so sad...
just ever soooo cute!!
What big beautiful eyes.

The buildings look so in disrepair.
Yet, all these kids look so happy!
I wish I could bring them all home with me!
See Sufi in the background...so attentive!
No words can express this picture!!
Wow! What a group of Happy faces!
The schoolroom,
again Sufi's in the back being held.
Shelley.

This school/orphanage caters to so many
children of all different ages!I think this is the director and his wife,
but I could be so wrong about who she is.
Look at the boys in the background!
Such a cute picture.
I don't know anything about it,
it was sent to me in the group of photos;
I couldn't not post it.
Such a beautiful baby.
The kids.
There you have it.